jon-rig

I believe we all have a skill. Some have several.

I’ve been told mine is the ability to describe something very well, so well that you can picture it exactly.  I will post about just that. When I see someone wearing something so epic, I will describe it for you, since taking and posting a picture of someone is hurtful and I’m no paparazzi.

So without further ado…….picture this…..

As I sit in my vehicle, patiently waiting, I choke down over deep fried, almost tasteless, yet the best chicken with a side of greasy ranch dressing at the busiest 7-11 in western Canada, for another glimpse of today’s greatest outfit.

And then, there he is! Mid forties. Plump, large belly, a glorious individual.  One, that I’m sure has a hearty laugh. He’s sporting light brown Wal-Mart hikers; shoes laces strategically tied so that they slide on with ease, yet tight enough that they won’t come off or flop with every step. Skill! The ensemble is a collection of favourites I’m sure. A pair of black jogging pants so worn that the fabric pilling resembles extreme skin tags; with elastic cuffs and pockets of course.

A snug grey t-shirt, tucked in tight, with some sort of block red font. I imagine it to read “Sasquatch Research Team. Don’t Stop Believin’!” But my eyes were to affixed to his “area”. For what he had sported around his waist was something out of this world.  It was the biggest fanny pack I’d ever seen!! Baby blue with a hefty black zipper. It was huge! It could’ve been a murse or satchel that he strategically place around his waist.  Every step he took it bounced with such force.  It could’ve easily been housing the deluxe version of the Rand McNally motor carriers road atlas.

He finished off the Wednesday outfit with a black duster coat.  You know the one. Cowboys wear them. Long, with buttons and a slit in the back, like a trench coat. Easily worn on the dusty open trails, so that you don’t get your clothes dirty. I can see his problem with the dust on the open road of highway 2 from inside his big rig.

No duster is complete without a black felt cowboy hat that may have been purchased from a street vendor at the Calgary Stampede. Perched on the brim was a pair of 1990’s rayzor sunglasses; polished with sharp edges.

Facial hair, swagger as fluid as a fine imported transmission, hefty bag of the best 7-11 nutrition. I think about what it is he wants to portray in this outfit. Comfort? Lazy? Casual?  What is his self worth? I hope that he is happy. I hope that morning he woke up and went out with force, determination and purpose, in what is his power suit.

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One thought on “Picture This – “That’s a big 10-4”

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